Erased

Here's a little something I wrote for my ex a couple of nights ago. The original is in Swedish so I had to translate it. Hopefully it's not too crappy anyways. Ya.


Sleep tight, y'all!

Erased

I have erased you. You no longer exist. There is no Derek in my world. Everything you’ve done, said, thought has disappeared. Everything that hurt me has gone from my memory. I will never see you. Because of that I will never again feel bad about what you did to me.

My first kiss is no more. You gave it to me, but now you can take it back. Just take it and go. You can have my first relationship too. The one we shared for two pathetic, heart wreaking months. The first jewellery a boy ever gave me. My first compliment paid by my first boyfriend. The first lie black as the night sky told to me. All the words you gave me I’m returning to you. All nights you spent in my thoughts and all the days I spent in your arms. All the sad memories and all that once were happy.

You’ve ruined them.

You can have the songs we listened to, I can’t stand them anymore. The park is yours; the air in there burns my lungs. I can’t look at the stories we read. You can do whatever you want with them. The dreams we dreamed are ashes to me. You have been banished from my mind. Your number, your face, your address, your smell. I can’t remember any of it. You’re gone. I’ve killed my memory of you. I’ve cut you out of my life.

So why do you come to me when I’m with the man I love?

It’s hard to say “I love you” when you once said the same to me. It’s hard to fall asleep next to him without the fear of waking up degraded after what you did to me. It’s hard to trust his words to be truth after watching your lies fall apart.

Why do you spoil the good moments?

Why do you twist his words in your mouth?

Why do you stay when I’ve done my best to forget you?

Please be on your way. Walk it as far from me as possible. I ask of you a single small thing. Please go away. Please leave me be. Please.