Good morning, Vietnam!

Let's see now... I've got chai-latte in my favourite tigger-cup, wooly (wolly, woolly?) socks on my feet and Vermillion lies are on about circus fishes.
What could possibly be wrong? Could it be tuesday? Is the cat chewing on my ear? Have my pj:s turned pink during the night? Na, that is absurd! But you can't expect me to be serious this early in the morning. That's right! It's effin 9.00 am! I am awake and up at 9.00 am. Well, nothing to do 'bout it now. And it could be worse! It could be.... eh.... It could be...... Just forget it, oki!

So, today I'll be going to ze hozpital. Yezzz. I'll have to go all the 500 metres through the cold, snowy snow to meet some psychologist I've never seen before. Life as a basket case is going well, I guess. But this is boring.

Some place long ago and far away, let's just say Over There and Yesterday, lived a small girl. The girl was seriously small, about the size of two apples stacked on a toaster, and this (of course) was something she wasn't very pleased about. (Her parents, however, were thrilled. They could just stuff her into their bags when travelling and saved a lot of money on plane-tickets.) So the girl, her name was, um, (Hannah? Qranutl? Stanley? Ya, that sounds right.) Stanley decided to go to the big city where she was sure to find a magician or inventor to make her taller. She walked and walked and walked until she saw a two-year-old on a tricycle. Stan went up to the kid and tried to take the tricycle by force. It turned out that the two-year-old wasn't a two-year-old at all, but the strongest dwarf in the world. He had gotten drunk the night before in the company of a band consisting of two elves, a talking head and a bear. This was why he was now clean-shaven so that you could see his babyish skin and rosy cheeks. After the dwarf, Pineapple Surprised, had wresteled Stanly down they fell in love and lived happily ever after in a house built out of tooth-picks. Their six children, Tank, Dwinie, Sam, Lock, Shock and Barely Surprised were the tallest dwarf-pumpkins in the world and made their living touring with a circus. Unfortunatly noone wants to see dwarf-pumpkins singing carols in the middle of the summer and they all died of starvation. The end!